“Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That’s why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people.” ~Unknown
Popular culture suggests that everyone has a group they hang out with in coffee shops and engage in witty banter. Or they have a BFF, who is always there and knows them better than anyone. So, if friendships make you anxious and you find them hard to navigate, it’s easy to feel ashamed and think it’s just you.
My therapy sessions often brought up my problems with friends. But it wasn’t until I was on the other side of the therapist chair that I realized I was not the only one!
But it wasn’t always this way. Life was easy in primary school. I always had a best friend, whose loyalty I never questioned. Although we had our occasional disagreements, we were thicker than thieves, lived in the same surreal universe, and loved eachother unconditionally.
My home life was not happy. I loved primary school, but it wasn’t my family. My parents divorced due to my father’s alcoholism. My mum was an overworked single parent and could not provide me with the love and attention that I needed. The seeds of my low-self-worth were planted at this time.