“Being a people-pleaser may be more than a personality trait; it could be a response to serious trauma.” ~Alex Bachert
I was raised in a family, church, and school that valued good behavior, discipline, and corporal punishment. There could have been an American Girl doll designed after me—the well-mannered church girl with a nineties hairbow edition.
I was quiet and pleasant and never got sent to the principal’s office. Complaining and “ugly” emotions were simply not allowed. Though I was very rambunctious and “rebellious” as a toddler, all of that was cleansed from my personality by the time I was school-aged.
I had no choice. At the slightest hint of someone being upset with me, I felt uneasy in my body. This was enough for me to control my rebellious side, at least in the beginning.
This pattern continued into adulthood. My supervisors would snap at any opportunity. To avoid trouble, I worked harder than anyone else. When my colleagues got yelled at over their mistakes, they laughed with amusement under their breath—but when the anger was directed at me, I was ridden with anxiety.
How could my colleagues…