“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene
I was a simple, innocent girl who fell in love with an intelligent boy. It was not a relationship that was redeemed. He didn’t know that I loved him for six months. Even if he knew, he never spoke of it.
I was a teenager in a relationship with my first crush. It was humiliating. I did things that I should never have done—the incessant texting, calling, arranging meetups, and what not.
Embarrassment doesn’t even cover the emotions I feel now. There are also feelings of guilt and pain.
My parents taught me as a kid to be kind and sacrifice for others.
Gradually, I felt my self-worth became more connected to others. I only felt worthy when I served a purpose in someone’s life, and otherwise, I didn’t think I mattered much.
Every little thing became focused on other people—how I behaved, how I dressed, how I worked. I would try to control my perceptions of myself and reach beyond my limits in order to be there for people who may never have cared about me.
This is exactly what happened to the boy I loved. My life was about…