“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown
I was in two jails.
One mental. One physical.
Otisville Federal Prison is the actual version.
I lived a life that was so out of sync with who I am and who I want to be. I self-sabotaged colossally, and defrauded one of the biggest tech companies in the entire world.
Shame was my mental prison and hell. Inflicting pain on the person I love, disappointing family members, and failing myself. Ignoring that voice within me telling me to not commit fraud.
I was convinced that I had destroyed love, the greatest gift of life.
I was trapped in my head and couldn’t see a way out or even a reason to try.
With every ounce of my being, I believed, “I am undeserving of love, happiness, forgiveness, and peace. I have destroyed love, and I will never be worthy again. I deserve a lifetime of punishment.”
This was my jail. It was my prison. I fell deeper and further into darkness each day, with no hope of a way out.
Shame is a disease that can be very insidious…